Librarians

I just wrote my fourth Life of Sky article, but I deleted all of it. It was about some funny encounters I had working at Jp Licks, but a dreadful truth has been brought to my attention. I am sitting in the library and I’m horrified.
Have you ever been to our library? At first glance, you see groups of studious teenagers applying themselves academically and taking advantage of the ample provided resources. Unfortunately, this picture-perfect image is a mere façade, hiding a very grim truth: our library is a police state. This state is run by a duo of dictators, both seemingly kindhearted old ladies, who work hard to achieve an idealistic learning environment- but at what cost?
A student in the library has no rights. The duo sees everything. If you break a rule, they will find you. Their totalitarian method of ruling is genius; Each sits at a different side of the room, overseeing their respective subjects. If you are speaking too loud or if you move a chair from its table, you will be confronted. I’ve been there, and believe me, it’s not worth it.
Their need to see and know everything is a product of their insatiable thirst for power. If you go on a website that they deem “inappropriate” (illegal), your computer will be immediately locked. A picture of a lock appears on the screen with the text, YOUR COMPUTE HAS BEEN LOCKED. LEAVE THIS COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY. Trust me, you better run like hell.
I just can’t learn like this! I fear of the dire punishment involved in going against their flawless society. What punishment is this? The worst of them all: exile. To my left and right, students who don’t coincide with the authoritarian regime’s plans are getting banished.
Fortunately, I know exactly why the library is so oppressive. If you travel just across the hall, 15 feet at most, you find the cafeteria- chaos, noise, theft, and the occasional fistfight or catfight over French fries (I still can’t believe I missed that). There is almost no form of management or control- anarchy.
The duo understands that the only thing separating their world and a world of disorder is 15 feet of hallway. Therefore, they must protect what they have with an iron fist. If students start emigrating from the cafeteria to the library during their lunch periods in search of a quieter, cleaner place to socialize, the rowdiness level would grow to overwhelming heights, and the duo would lose power. Then there would probably be a Reign of Terror.
But the regime circumvented this problem by strictly banning food and drinks. No kid is going to sacrifice eating lunch to socialize in a quiet area. As a result, this crowd was successfully deterred to the indie-kid hallway where they sit on the floor in misery.
Next time you go, just remember you were warned. As for me, I’ve been here too long and they are probably reading this from their desks. I’m gonna e-mail this to myself and get the hell out of here. Peace.